Evening entertainment was a walk round the poop deck before watching the onboard Strong man competition introduced by a local comedian.

Best 3 Southampton jokes

Barcode Navy

Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So that when the ships come back into port they can Scandinavian!

Don’t start anything!

A sailor brings his boat up to a restaurant dock to eat lunch.

The dockhand says, “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you dine here today. This establishment has a necktie policy, and you are not wearing one.”

“Of course I don’t have a tie on,” replied the sailor, “I’m on a boat!”

“Well, go down below and put one on,” said the dockhand.

“I don’t HAVE one!” shouted the sailor.

The dockhand, not wanting to turn away a customer, said: “Well, why don’t you just find something that approximates a tie. That should be OK.”

After some time, the sailor comes out with a pair of jumper cables. “This is all I could find to put around my neck,” he said.

Sighing, the deck hand said: “OK, I’ll let you in with those, but just don’t start anything.”

In Dorset?

“I went on a sailing course in Poole.”

“In Dorset?”

“Yes, I’d recommend it to anyone.”

And didn’t spill a drop.

An old captain and his first mate are reminiscing about their days on the Arctic convoys of World War II together.

Captain: “All through those terrible, dark, storm wracked nights, you never once failed to bring me a steaming full mug of tea on the night watch. How on earth did you manage it without ever spilling a drop?

First mate: “Well Sir, since you ask, I used to take a swig of your tea in the galley, then spit it back in the mug when I got to your door.”